


Freaky Monday

by Finnspiration



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Mentions of chronic pain, body switching, hints of zagene maybe??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-02 06:26:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16781419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnspiration/pseuds/Finnspiration
Summary: Zach wakes up to find he's switched bodies with Eugene.  Now he gets to find out just how awesome life is when you're hot, coordinated, and cool.  Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place early in Try Guys timeline.

**Chapter one**

The first thing Zach noticed when he woke up was that he did not have a hangover, and nothing hurt. In fact, he felt pretty damn great. He stretched, groaning a little before he even opened his eyes. Funny, his voice sounded different than usual. Maybe he had a sore throat. 

Stretching his arms, he thumped against the wall. One reason he'd moved his bed away from the wall was so he wouldn't smack himself stretching in the mornings. He opened his eyes irritably. Who had moved his bed nearer to the wall? 

_ Wow, okay. That's...weird. I'm in Eugene's bedroom.  _

Had he drank too much and stayed over? That happened sometimes, but not often. Zach knew his limits and tried to be careful about exceeding them. Plus he really didn't need more chances to be compared unfavorably to Eugene, who could drink like a fish. 

_ Do fish even drink? Maybe they absorb all the water they need through their scales, _ he thought, as he rolled out of bed and, yawning, headed towards Eugene's bathroom. Wherever Eugene was, he'd probably show up soon and laugh at Zach for getting too drunk or whatever. 

He couldn't actually remember how he'd ended up here. Probably a bad sign. But again, he wasn't hung-over, so...?

He'd taken three steps before he remembered he hadn't put on his glasses. He turned back to the bedside table, without tripping over his own feet, and looked for them. But he didn't have to feel for them, because he could...actually see pretty well. 

Normally, glasses had to happen for the best chance at a non-tripping, functional Zach. They weren't an after-breakfast option, but a let's-not-die-today necessity. Death by tripping in his own apartment would be a bad way to go. He'd like to go out in a much cooler way than that—or else live till he was old and do the whole full, happy life some people managed.

_ Huh. No glasses. _ He felt his face, and they weren't there, either. Well, of course he wouldn't have fallen asleep in his glasses.  _ I mean, if I did, Eugene would take them off me because he wouldn't want me rolling over and breaking them in my sleep on his bed.  _

He wondered again about the circumstances that had landed him here, but not for very long. Eugene would be sure to bug him about it later. He'd deal with it then.

He headed to the bathroom to take care of business, glancing around for his phone.

His phone wasn't by the bed, although Eugene's was there. And for some reason Eugene's dogs were hanging around, waiting eagerly to be walked. Didn't Eugene usually take them out early? Where was he, anyway?

Gene's phone rang, and Zach reached for it automatically, without meaning to. He'd answered the phone he even realized he was going to, or that he had to swipe a different way to do so than he used on his own phone. Weird. Invasive, too. Eugene wouldn't thank him for that.

And the number calling said  _ Zach _ . Well, that explained it. Eugene had taken his phone by accident.

"Hey Eugene," said Zach into the phone, pleased with his casual he sounded. Though his voice was oddly resonate, and had a strange hint of Texas twang this morning. He hoped Eugene wouldn't think he was mocking him, because one thing Zach did not do was mock anyone for their accent, ever.  He really didn't like it when people mocked his tendency to "sound Jewish," and he'd never do that to anybody else.

"Zach," said the voice on the other end of the line, "You've got to get back here. This is not going to work. I have a lot to do today, and it's really not a cool time for the whole Freaky Friday thing. I am not Lindsay Lohan or Jamie Lee Curtis. We've got to figure this out and quick. I need my body back."

"You can keep your body. I'm no grave robber." Zach was reflexively offended by this bizarre speech. Apparently, Eugene had been doing some really hard drinking, because he wasn't making any fucking sense. "But we did switch phones somehow, so you'd better get back here and give me mine. How am I supposed to poop if I can check Instagram? Well, I suppose I could check it on your phone, but do we even follow the same people? Plus your dogs need walked, and dude, I did no volunteer for that."

"Shut up, Zach!" The voice on the other end of the line sounded full of panic...and actually, not very much like Eugene, either. It sounded more like Zach's voice in a recording. He'd certainly listened to himself on film often enough, while editing. He hadn't heard his own voice over the phone as much, for obvious reasons, but it sounded weirdly like him.

"You don't have my phone, you idiot. You've got my body somehow, and I'm stuck in yours. I didn't ask for this!" the voice that sounded creepily like Zach howled on the other end of the line. "I'm not Lindsey Lohan and I don't want to be Zach Kornfeld!"

The panic in that voice was too real to ignore or be offended by. "Calm down, dude. Nothing we can't figure out. Just come home and we'll talk about it." He hoped Eugene wasn't having some kind of mental breakdown. He'd seen Eugene at some low moments, but it has always been salvageable, better the next day. This seemed different.

"Come home. You come home," said Eugene/Zach's voice, with a sound like an ugly sob at the end of it. "Have you even looked at yourself in the mirror yet this morning?"

"No, I always put that off as long as I can," answered Zach honestly. He took awhile to wake up and get ready, and didn't particularly like facing himself in the mirror when he still looked puffy-eyed and half asleep, and even scruffier than usual.

"You're not you. You're me. And I'm you. Get over here. Did you wish for this? I sure as hell didn't. Maybe it doesn't even work like in the movies. Maybe it's a dream. Maybe we have to see each other to wake up. It's an awfully convincing dream, though." He still sounded close to panic, which was really weird.

"Wait, you're at my place?" Zach's brain was finally starting to catch up. 

"Yes, I'm at your place. Are you always this sore in the morning?"

Zach swallowed, hard. A creepy feeling had started working its way up his spine. His heart thumped as he glanced down at his bare arm. And chest. And feet. All a beautiful brown color he'd never achieved once in his life. 

Zach had two skin tones: white and sunburned. Now his muscular arm was the shape of Eugene's, with that beautiful tan Eugene got in the sun. His feet were the shapely dancer's feet that Eugene had, not the awkward clumsy Zach feet he was so used to. And his chest...lacked hair, but seemed plenty muscular. 

And of course Eugene's body wasn't wearing a shirt. He ran a hand experimentally up and down his chest, feeling the muscle definition there, the trim waist and strong chest. He was definitely here. And that was definitely not the normal shape and feel of his chest. Lots of muscles, no hair. Yeah.

"Holy shit," said Zach in an awed whisper, the twang of Pflugerville in his voice, "I'm hot."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Eugene's laugh sounded ugly and broken. "Of course that's the first thing you think about. Damn it, Zach. This is serious, not a game. Did you wish for this? Did you make this happen? Is it hilarious to you, because I promise you, it isn't to me."

"Don't freak out," said Zach. "I didn't make this happen. I'm as perplexed as you are. I just thought we switched phones somehow. Would you relax? Calm down and take some deep breaths. Are you taking them?"

"Yes," said Eugene sullenly. 

"Good, now do some stretches, you'll feel better. I'll be over as soon as I can. We'll get it sorted out."

"You better not leave me hanging and run off with my body," warned Eugene. "I have plans for that."

"How much of an asshole do you think I am? No, don't answer that. I'm hanging up now."

"Take my dogs out. I don't want them pooping on the rug."

"Ugh. Okay. Hanging up now..." He didn't though, because it sounded like Eugene was starting to hyperventilate, and you just didn't hang up on someone who was having a panic attack. "Eugene," he said in his best Jewish-mama voice. "Sit down. Take a few breaths. Now, are you wearing my glasses? You won't be able to see anything properly until you do, and I'd rather you don't break any of my bones. I have plans for them later," he added, trying to lighten the mood.

"Okay. Yes. Glasses." Eugene sounded calmer already with something concrete to do. Poor guy, it wasn't exactly a fun time for him, was it? Going from this hot, strong body to Zach's fragile one.

Zach swallowed. "After you calm down, you really do need to stretch. Then have some tea and painkillers. Then eat something. You'll feel better if my body follows the usual routines. Mornings suck otherwise."

Eugene's laugh was small and cracked, sounding close to tears. "I will. Hurry." Then he hung up.

_ Damn, do I sound that emotional when I'm upset? _ It was his voice, telegraphing every emotion Eugene was feeling, when most of the time, even when he was dying on the inside, Eugene could sound cool and collected. It was a trait Zach had often envied, along with everything else about Eugene.

_ I don't think envy can make you switch lives with someone. If so I'd have been someone else my whole childhood. _

He headed to the bathroom, glancing at Eugene's face in the mirror, before taking care of his business as quickly and efficiently as possible. He felt kind of like an intruder in Eugene's body, but reminded himself he had to take care of it for Eugene, and that meant bodily functions. Peeing and pooping, and drinking the coffee he was suddenly craving. 

Hopefully he'd be able to switch back to himself before he had to do much eating for Eugene. But if not, he was definitely going to have something with lots of cheese and lots of bell peppers. Maybe something really spicy, too. Damn, and some ice cream...

Mentally, he shook himself. He didn't bother showering, but grabbed one of Eugene's shirts and threw it on, along with a pair of shorts. Too bad he didn't have longer to play dress up as Eugene. That would be fun. He'd be really cute and cool, tough and hot-looking. Although the hair definitely didn't look like Eugene's normal hair after he brushed it.

He had coffee. He found Eugene's keys the first place he thought to look and took the dogs out as promised. They were actually really good for him, which surprised him somehow. 

Zach sort of thought he didn't like dogs very much. He'd always been a cat guy. But the dogs seemed to like him, and it felt natural to take care of them, as if he knew just where the leashes went. Gazing down at the little creatures, he felt an odd rush of fondness, like maybe this was the best part of the day or something. Strange.

Then he pocketed the phone and drove Eugene's car over to Zach's place. He parked, jogged up the stairs, and knocked. It was weird to knock at his own door.

The door opened immediately, and there stood Zach, his face wretched with worry, his hair sticking up oddly.  _ Damn, do I always look so small, spindly and awkward? _ Zach felt weird looking at himself, but there was no visceral reaction of disgust or mockery. Instead a comfortable sort of feeling settled through him, like he was seeing someone familiar that he liked, that he regarded fondly. 

He definitely noticed all that body hair, since Eugene-Zach wasn't wearing a shirt, but he didn't feel grossed out by it, just very aware in some way he couldn't define.

He reached out automatically and squeezed Eugene-Zach's shoulder, then stepped into the apartment with him. Zach's face still looked all wobbly, like he was going to cry. Eugene must really be panicking.

"Did you stretch?" Zach asked, handing Eugene's phone back to him, fumbling a little when their fingers accidentally touched. Apparently he could still be clumsy in Eugene's perfect body.  _ Damn it. _

"Yes," said Eugene, looking away, running the back of his hand under his nose. "I didn't know you had this much pain."

"Sorry," said Zach. "You took painkillers, right?"

"Yes. Are you sure you didn't wish this on us?" said Eugene, his voice low and miserable. He sounded way more emotional speaking in Zach's voice. "Maybe you wanted me to see how it feels?"

"I've wanted to be better than you at something before, but I've never wished something bad on you," said Zach, feeling mildly defensive. Eugene sure seemed willing to see this from the worst angle and blame Zach. Not that Zach could blame him for seeing being stuck in Zach's body as a bad thing. Eugene hadn't exactly gotten the better end of the switch.

"What did we do last night? I can't even remember," Zach asked. He was going to have to start thinking of this short, hairy guy as Eugene, or it would get confusing really fast. 

It was already confusing enough.

"Um. I was drinking," said Eugene, sounding embarrassed. He sounded more like a New Yorker in his embarrassment, when he usually sounded more Texan when he was embarrassed. "I don't always, um, remember what I did. I guess since you're stuck in me..."

"So are you sure you didn't wish for this? Mr. Lindsay Lohan. Maybe you wanted to know what it felt like to be a short guy from New York. Or maybe you're the old school Jodie Foster version, ever think of that? Anyway, why do I have to be the mom character? You're older than I am."

Eugene put his hands up to awkwardly cover his face and sighed, a very aggrieved sound. It was a gesture that so perfectly combined Zach's mannerisms and Eugene's protective, face-covering gesture, that the sarcasm and banter immediately went out of Zach, replaced by fondness and pity. 

He reached out for Eugene again, squeezing his shoulder. "Hey, okay, all right, let's just trying wishing it back. If it's wishing that does it, that's all that matters, right?" He realized he was blabbering. But he couldn't bear to see Eugene upset. The need to set Eugene at ease had overcome everything else.

"We'll look in the mirror and will ourselves back. Want to try that?" As he spoke, he steered Eugene towards the full length mirror where they could stare at themselves. It was usually his go-to outfit check for the day... _ wallet, keys, fly closed, hair combed _ ...but now it was... _ mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most fucked of us all? Probably Eugene. _

Eugene stared at him out of Zach's face, bleak and scared, so miserable he looked close to tears. It was so strange to see Eugene in those eyes that were normally his. It would get really freaky if he thought about it too hard. 

Zach stared at himself out of Eugene's Korean-American face and stern, beautiful features. His eyes looked worried but overall pretty fearless. They were his eyes somehow, even in Eugene's face. His face didn't show much feeling at all. It had settled into hard lines he didn't exactly feel, like maybe he was pissed off about something instead of just worried. 

He put an arm around Eugene, enjoying the fact that he was bigger now. 

"Gross, you wore my worst shirt," said Eugene, studying him in the mirror with a critical air. "Did you even comb my hair?"

"I brushed it." He kept his arm draped around Eugene. It felt good there. For once, he was the bigger man. 

"Wish harder," said Eugene, Zach's face in the mirror going into grumpy, pissed off, pouting mode. "You're not wishing, you're just trying to be cool."

"I don't even have to try," said Zach, but he put his mind to it, the way Eugene wanted him to. It really wouldn't be fair to enjoy this. Even if it was hard not to.

Zach had worked hard to accept himself, and he'd never have wished ill on Eugene. Sure, the guy pissed him off sometimes, but they were friends, and Zach's physical challenges were nothing he'd want to get away from by putting on someone else. That would be creepy and gross, the worst kind of disloyalty and cowardice. And Zachary Kornfeld was not a disloyal friend or a coward.

He stared at his eyes, then Eugene's, in the mirror, willing the universe to put them right again, to fix this, to unspill the milk and unpour the tea. 

Zach believed in positive thinking. He could do this. He could do anything in the world if he set his mind to it. He projected himself through his gaze and into Eugene, back into his own body, out of this one, where he was an unwanted guest. He stared long and hard, meeting Eugene's desperate look, first in the mirror, then just facing each other, awkwardly intense, as they both stared hard, stubborn go-getters, men who didn't give up easily, who didn't let limits stop them.

For long, hard moments, they stared and willed. 

"Just a little more," said Eugene, through Zach's gritted teeth. Mr. Will of Iron himself.

"We'll be late for work," said Zach softly, through his own teeth. A.k.a. Eugene's teeth, which were, of course, perfect.

"Try the mirror again," pleaded Eugene. He looked like he was close to having a breakdown. Zach had never wanted in his life to make Eugene this upset, and he wanted it even less now. He turned back to the mirror quickly and they went back to staring and wishing.

Something flashed through his mind, something unexpected and wrenching, devastating, even. He didn't feel perfect. He felt exposed and ugly. Like his face was too big, his eyes too narrow, the lines of his face too strong and hard: unexpressive, odd. He felt repulsed and ugly staring at Eugene's face in the mirror, and it made him blink and jerk backwards a little.

Eugene clutched at him, small hands and desperation, and Zach felt something else sudden and weird and unwanted rushed through him. It was an awareness, a startlingly unfamiliar awareness, of being touched as a risky, dangerous, charged thing when unexpected, when too close to someone, even someone he liked. He stumbled back a little, staring at Eugene in shock.

Zach's face on Eugene looked less out of place now, as if Zach's awareness was settling into this-is-how-it-always-is, the way walking the dogs had felt natural, and not needing glasses. He stared at the face not of himself, but of a friend. Of someone he found irritating and annoying and hopelessly...appealing?

Eugene—or his body—found Zach appealing? Didn't think he looked ugly and gross? Sure, he'd said supportive things before, trying to be a good friend, but Zach hadn't actually believed any of it.

"Zach," said Eugene hopelessly, trying to get him to come back. "We'll be late for work."

"I know. I—sorry." He moved back to Eugene's side, careful not to touch him, but the awareness was there now. He felt gross and awkward and intensely uncomfortable in his body. He crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to see what he was looking at, just to focus on eyes and will and nothing else.

Eugene, beside him, had his arms crossed as well. One foot was tapping nervously, a twitch of Zach's, and he looked like he was trembling a little.

At last Eugene turned away, shoulders hunched. "Fuck," he said explosively. "I guess we're stuck for now. I can't wish any harder than that."

"Me neither," admitted Zach sheepishly. Sometimes, positive thinking didn't take care of everything. "Maybe it's something else. Maybe someone slipped something into out drinks."

"Would that make us switch lives?"

"I don't know, would wishing?" he countered. "Seriously, what do you remember about last night, because I don't. We went drinking, right?"

Eugene looked thoughtful, less freaked out and bitterly upset as he tried to concentrate. "Yeah, I think we went to a sports bar. After that...?" He frowned, scratching his chin in a very Zach manner. He talked with his hands a lot more now. Well, Zach's muscle memory wouldn't know how to stop, frankly.

"Come on," said Zach with a sigh. "You can think on the way. I'll drive. We have to get to work."

"Okay," said Eugene. "Fine." If there was one thing they had in common, it was work ethic. Work came first, even on Freaky Mondays. "But let me fix your hair first. It looks really awful," said Eugene. "Did you even use any product?"

Zach bit back a grumpy retort and sighed. "Not like I'd even know how."

"Well, hold still. I'll do the best I can, but it's going to look  _ awful _ ."

That was hardly the biggest worry of the day—and Zach suddenly realized Eugene knew that. It was just, in this moment, the one thing he had some small control over. Zach held still and let him fuss with it, listening to him grumble.

"You're not worried about  _ my _ hair, I notice," Zach couldn't help contributing.

"I should get it cut," said Eugene savagely. "I should shave it off and make you wear a blue wig." His laugh sounded a little too close to tears.

"You won the hair game before the contest started," grumbled Zach. "You don't have to be an asshole about it. Now come on. We have to get to work."

Eugene sighed, but didn't argue. He stopped fiddling with hair and went to put on a shirt and shoes. They got going quickly. Zach noticed he'd worn one of Zach's least favorite shirts, one he'd actually forgotten he owned. It looked pretty good. It was a little small and too dark, he'd thought, but seeing Eugene wear it now, it actually just looked fitted and cool. 

_ How can he look cool even as me?  _


	3. Chapter 3

Aside from the hassle of switching desks, they both had mostly editing work to do, so that wasn’t so hard. The weird thing was adjusting to the Buzzfeed office, and how to interact with people. 

When Keith walked by, Zach leaned back in his chair, stretching and giving Keith a big grin and saying "hi." 

Instead of his normal response, Keith stared at Zach like there was something wrong with him. “Hey, Eugene,” he said at last awkwardly, and moved past him. 

Zach felt self-conscious. What? Keith was usually glad to see him.  _ Did I...did I smile too much in Eugene’s body and it looked weird somehow?  _

Yeah, maybe, because Eugene didn’t usually give everybody big smiles first thing in the morning. Maybe it had even looked mocking to Keith. Eugene was rarely chatty and cheerful at the start of a day--frankly, sometimes he wasn’t chatty and cheerful whatever the circumstances. 

Zach was going to have to do a better job impersonating Eugene. But it was hard not to want to smile and wave and chat to his friends. Nobody stopped to say hi, though. Well, at least he’d get more editing done, because he could really focus, right? 

He felt slightly less scattered than usual, like concentrating was easier in this body. He should be glad of that, but it felt strange, like wearing clothes that didn't fit right. He was literally working out of someone else's brain right now—how weird was that? There were nothing wrong with the brain, and the body was certainly very nice, but this just wasn't home.

Meanwhile Eugene was greeted more or less constantly by a stream of Zach’s friends. He laughed and smiled and chatted with them, sometimes awkwardly, but not enough so that anybody stared at him weirdly. 

When Zach took a break from editing to go to the bathroom, or get something to eat, he felt like people sort of stayed out of his way. Great. Apparently his face had settled into Eugene’s serious look, and people knew better than to interrupt his train of thought. Well, fair enough, but Zach was starting to get a bit annoyed. He liked talking to people, sharing ideas and catching up. There was always at least a little time to talk to people in the day, right? Instead, he felt very alone and self-conscious when he got a snack. 

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll hurt your girlish figure?” snarked someone walking past as Zach bit into a brownie. He spun to see who it was, his heart pounding. Wow, that was an intense reaction; Eugene’s body really didn’t like being surprised. Also, what kind of shithead would make fun of Eugene for eating? 

The feeling of being judged for what he ate, laughed at, not to mention surprised, made him lose his appetite and feel a little sick. He headed back to his desk quickly, feeling his face settle into a calm expression he didn’t feel. For a second there, it had felt like he was going to be hit. Nobody hit Eugene, did they?

An awful feeling slid through him, a cold snake of memory. When he was little, and not very strong, and bullies considered him the punching bag…

He shuddered, wanting to push away that memory. Usually Zach welcomed insights into Eugene, because he could be such a closed book, even when it irritated him to learn one more way Eugene was cooler and tougher and better than him. But this sort of insight, from the inside, felt too potent and raw, too private. He didn’t want to pry at Eugene’s history or life this way. He didn’t want to learn anything like this about Eugene unless Eugene wanted to tell him.

He looked over at Eugene, sitting at his desk, concentrating hard, squinting at the screen. He scooted his chair over and leaned close. “Zach,” he said pointedly. “You know what to eat and not eat, right?” He was sure he’d told the guys--told everybody--about his allergies often enough. Most people weren’t assholes about that, although there were times somebody tried to trick him into eating something and "seeing if the allergy was all in his head." Not fun.

Eugene glanced at him, then slowly focused on him. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “I haven’t eaten anything since this morning.”

“Well, you should. Some of us don’t go all day without eating.” He gave Eugene a stern look. 

Eugene, in Zach’s body, looked self-conscious and a little shy. He leaned back in his chair, his foot starting to jiggle in a nervous tic. “We’re gonna leave on time today, right? You’re my ride.” Embarrassment flashed across his face at what could be taken as an innuendo, even though he obviously hadn’t meant it that way.

“Yeah, of course.” He actually hated seeing Eugene feel self-conscious, and that surprised him. It didn’t feel like it was just because Eugene looked like him. He was just a lot easier to read this way, and Zach didn’t want to see him taken down a few pegs like he sometimes did. 

The aggression and annoyance he sometimes felt about Eugene didn’t seem to be returned. The inward, Eugene’s body sort of feeling he felt through this weird switch told him Eugene liked him, didn’t look down on him, and didn’t even find him as annoying as he said he did. Sure, there were moments, but overall, Eugene felt closer to him than most people here, respected him, and didn't like him to be distressed. 

It was weird to realize how much friendship Eugene felt for him, and realize that he often let jealousy stain his own friendship with Eugene. 

Eugene was still hot as fuck, and seemed to be better at everything than Zach would ever be, but there was a lot more to him than that. If nothing else, Zach would like to learn to appreciate Eugene and not be so jealous. 

One thing he was learning already was that Eugene wasn’t as confident as he pretended to be--and he didn’t have as many friends in the office. Also, surprises freaked him out, and when he smiled at people, sometimes they acted like that was weird. It would make anyone self-conscious.

“Why don’t I get you something I know you can eat?” suggested Zach. He didn’t want to return to his body to have a bathroom nightmare ahead of him because Eugene had fucked up his body with the wrong snacks. He also didn’t want Eugene going all day without eating like he sometimes did and making Zach’s body faint because of it. He’d never live that down; people already thought he was weak and fragile. And they weren’t always wrong, but damn, that would be awful.

He clapped Eugene on the shoulder and got up to leave. Eugene flinched a little at the touch. It wasn’t a big flinch, just there and gone.

Zach spoke before he thought. “Would you calm down? Nobody’s going to hit you.”

He regretted it immediately. Talk about not prying--he also shouldn’t make sarcastic remarks that would make Eugene feel like shit. And that one did. Once again, Zach’s more expressive features showed exactly what Eugene was feeling. Humiliation flashed across his face, and he looked back at the computer screen quickly, not saying anything else. Usually when he gave you the cold shoulder it was pretty intimidating, but this just felt sad.

“Sorry,” mumbled Zach, and hurried away. He’d bring Eugene something really great to eat as an apology.

#

The rest of the work day was like that, awkward moments, things they hadn’t meant to learn, whether that was having to share a password or having an unexpected feeling of memory, and trying to navigate this precarious situation without fucking up either of their jobs or too many friendships. 

It was easy enough to hide the fact that they were using each other’s phones, and doing their own work on different computers was workable if annoying. Talking to people was harder, but they got through it. Worst of all was the way he felt like he was settling into Eugene’s body, getting far too used to being able to move however he wanted, and not have nagging back pain all the time.

Eugene didn’t grumble about the pain, but he winced and stretched more often than usual, and Zach had to remind him of how many painkillers he could take--and to stretch it as long as possible for each dose so he didn’t go over the safe amount. 

When you took painkillers every single day, you had to remember to look after your liver, because even over the counter stuff could be dangerous if you took too much. Zach didn’t like having to remember this sort of thing, but that was life. 

He was surprised and pleased to see Eugene-as-Zach hanging out and laughing near the water cooler one time with some of the guys. For himself, he was really surprised how easy it was now to talk to the girls in the office. 

Normally Zach felt at least a little self-conscious, but in Eugene’s body it was easy. Not just because he was hot--in fact, maybe not that at all--but a level of bone-deep ease he felt that normally he didn’t around women. Zach usually had to push himself a little to talk to girls and not feel too self-conscious. But it felt easy and natural now, chummy, rather than like he had to show off or try to be more impressive than he was.

_ Eugene had sisters, I know. But I grew up with a sister. Why are we so different? _

On the other hand, Zach in Eugene’s body seemed a lot more self-conscious around guys, more wary and worried about making a good impression and not looking dumb or uncool. It hinted at something Zach didn’t really want to know about Eugene. 

He’d sort of half-guessed Eugene was somewhere on the LGBT spectrum awhile ago. But that was Eugene’s business. If he didn’t feel like sharing that, then Zach didn’t want to know for sure, either way. 

Also, if Eugene was LGBT, and hadn’t yet accepted or admitted that to himself, Zach didn't want to push him. It might make it even harder for Eugene to figure everything out, if he thought people imagined they knew him better than he knew himself. So Zach kept his mouth shut about that, when he didn’t keep his mouth shut about almost anything else in life. Eugene’s sexuality was his own business. Maybe someday they’d be good enough friends to actually talk about it, but he kind of doubted that. Eugene was a closed book whenever possible. Infuriatingly stubborn, too. “I can do it on my own” seemed to be his life motto.

Still, if there was one thing Zach had learned for sure from this it was that Eugene actually did think of him as a friend and liked being around him. He might be awkward about it sometimes, but Zach wasn’t just his work buddy or a coworker he put up with; he was someone Eugene genuinely cared about and liked. That was good to know. Why couldn’t he just ever say that, though?

Well, because he was Eugene, of course. A confusing and complicated guy. He was so brilliant and hot, and yet clearly he felt like shit about himself a lot of the time. 

Living in this body for just a short time, all Zach felt now were flaws, where before every single thing he saw about Eugene’s physique, he’d admired. The guy was strong, beautiful, coordinated, tall, fit and a good dancer. What wasn’t to admire? 

But Eugene didn’t seem to see himself that way. He saw flaws and imperfections. He saw ways he wasn’t good enough, or didn’t fit some impossible standard he was holding himself against. He saw all the ways he couldn’t live up to what he wanted to be. And every single one hurt.

Living in this body for less than a day, Zach could already barely stand to look at himself in the mirror. Being Eugene was not as easy and cool as he’d thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

“It’s hard being you,” said Eugene the moment they were back at Eugene’s place. They’d agreed together that was the only sensible place to go, because of his dogs. 

It was weird the way they greeted Zach and Eugene with equal enthusiasm. Did they like Eugene’s body and his soul just as much? Or maybe they just indiscriminately loved everybody. Eugene had hugged them for long, quiet, intense moments before he said anything, as if he couldn’t bear not to.

“Tell me about it,” said Zach, trying to make it into a joke.

“First of all you’re in constant pain, and second of all, you always feel like the smallest, weakest guy in the room. How do you stay so fucking cheerful?”

Zach bit back a sharp retort. “I guess I just do my best. C’mon Eugene, do you want to critique me or do you want to work on getting things back to normal? I know I’m ready to be myself again.”

Eugene cast him a surprised look. “I wasn’t critiquing. I think it’s fucking heroic.”

Zach blinked. Eugene wasn’t usually so blunt in a compliment. Zach felt uneasy accepting compliments, as usual. 

"You're so brave, you're like a lion inside."

"Well I am a Leo," he said, trying to make it into a joke. “Don’t forget, you have to eat again this evening. Don’t just drink, I can't handle that.”

The thought of Eugene going out for a hard partying, hot and heavy dancing and sex night made him cringe. He’d be practically crippled afterwards. But then again, there was no way Eugene had the energy for that, not the way he looked in Zach’s body. He was drooping.

Zach still felt pretty good, although he had a weird, restless feeling inside him, like he needed to move, like he wanted something. It was a craving he didn’t recognize, but it was growing fierce.

“So you want to spitball about the problem while we eat? Also do you have anything here I can eat, or should we order something?” He wandered to the fridge and pulled it open. The sight of a bunch of bottles of alcohol--beer, wine, and more--made something inside him zing. 

_ Ah _ . The craving was for alcohol. He reached out and grabbed the first bottle he saw, twisted the cap off with one of Eugene’s strong hands, and drank deeply. He drained the bottle then went back for another, not even bothering to shut the fridge in between.

“Dude, pace yourself.” Eugene sounded appalled and embarrassed.

Zach belched loudly and wiped the back of his muscular arm across his mouth. Fuck, he felt so macho. And he was starting to feel so much better, too. “It tastes nice,” he said. Usually alcohol tasted awful to him, tasted like regret from the first sip. Not to this body! 

It was more than that, though. Eugene’s body had been craving this, and now that he had it, the stresses of the day seemed a lot more manageable, everything felt a lot less awful.

“Please,” said Eugene, sounding really embarrassed, tugging him away from the fridge somewhat ineffectually.

Zach giggled. Those little hands on him felt silly and good. “You have such tiny hands.” He caught one of them and held it up to examine. He finished his second bottle and set it aside, turning to Eugene, catching his face--Zach’s face--in his hands. “You’re so little and cute. How is that possible?”

Eugene in Zach’s face flushed bright red. He normally didn’t blush much if at all, with his darker skin tone and cool, collected exterior. “Please don’t do this,” said Eugene. “Let’s be serious.”

“I could pick you up and everything. Is this what it feels like to be tall? It’s really great.” He picked Eugene up around the middle and lifted him, enjoying the closeness of what was basically a hug.

“Zach,” said Eugene, sighing. He didn’t bother fighting to get down. “You obviously can’t drink, even in my body. Get something to eat and let’s be try to figure this out.”

“Okay.” Zach hugged Eugene for a moment longer, then turned and pressed a quick kiss against his neck. 

“Ew, stop it.” Eugene finally squirmed out of his arms, all small and cute and hairy, and looked at him reproachfully. “I am not that sloppy drunk, and I do  _ not _ get drunk on two beers, even chugging!”

“Sorry,” said Zach, straightening his shirt. “We can get pizza if you want, but it has to be vegan for you. I can’t have cheese.” He belched again, and laughed. It was hilarious, burping. “Wow, you’re really loud, Gene! Oh, hey, I bet I can dance now, too!” He gave Eugene a delighted look, and spun away from him, fumbling for his phone to put some music on.

Eugene stared at him, blinking a couple of times. When Zach started dancing enthusiastically along with the first song he played, Eugene moved closer, and started dancing with him, like he couldn’t quite resist the chance to dance, even in Zach’s body. His movements were unsure and a little jerky. 

“Wow, you really...don’t have much coordination, do you?” Eugene said cautiously, as they danced together.

“No, I really don’t. Wow, this is so much fun! This is how I want to dance but can’t.” Zach threw himself into it with Eugene’s perfectly coordinated, dance-trained body. It felt so good to move, to really express himself to music, the way he hadn’t been able to express himself all day. Eugene had the best moves, down by heart.

Eugene gave him an affectionate, soft look. “I can teach you to dance, you know. If that’s something you want.”

Zach just smiled at him, thrusting a couple of times, then doing a couple of Eugene’s more complicated dance moves, spins and dips and shimmies. He had the feeling if he really concentrated on it, he’d know the names for each move and when Eugene had learned it, but he didn’t want to focus on that. He didn't want to pry; he just wanted to dance, to feel how great it was to move like this.

Eugene took his hands and danced with him, smiling up at him, his eyes bright and alive for once, in Zach’s cute little face. His moves were a little awkward, but he danced with an assurance Zach often lacked, and that made up for it. “I didn’t know you liked to dance this much.”

“Yeah, dude. Didn’t I ever tell you? My Hebrew name means The Dancer. I picked it out myself.” He was probably talking nonsense, but it was easy to confide in Eugene just now, holding hands and dancing silly and wild and free together in Eugene’s apartment. “I always wanted to be able to dance and be as cool as this. Man, you’ve got more coolness in your left foot than I have in my whole body!”

Eugene sobered instantly. “That’s not true, Zach. That’s really not true.” He looked like he wanted to say something more, but bit his lip instead, looking conflicted. It was weird to see all his emotions on his face. Also, kind of distracting when he bit his lip.

Zach felt a little unwanted zing of attraction between them, holding hands and dancing like this, staring at Eugene. It surprised the hell out of him, and made him let go of Eugene’s hands. 

So, that was weird. To cover his discomposure, he turned away, pushing back his hair, and starting to move more in tune with the music, on his own. When he looked around again, Eugene had gone to the fridge and was searching through it, shoulders hunched. 

Zach wanted another beer already. He wondered if the cravings were always this strong for Eugene, and what that meant, if it was a bad sign. 

It felt dangerous knowing this much about Eugene, that was for sure. He wanted to protect Eugene from his curiosity and awareness. The guy obviously felt like shit inside Zach’s body, and maybe about his conflicted feelings and unwanted awareness of Zach’s body, too. Eugene’s body was definitely aware of Zach’s in a way that felt very, very personal.

_ You’re full of shit when you say I’m gross,  _ thought Zach. _ You don’t think that at all. _

But he was going to be nice. He wasn’t going to be a jerk about it. He was going to actually focus and work out how to switch back.

Maybe after one more song.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you really hurting?" asked Zach, staring at Eugene in concern. He looked so uncomfortable and unhappy, slowly chewing his way through vegan pizza.

Zach made a decision, got up, and walked around behind Eugene, and started massaging his shoulders and back, working carefully with Eugene's skillful fingers. 

Wow, Eugene had muscle memory about massages! He was damned good at this. Eugene groaned a little, cringing slightly under the pressure. 

"Too much? Sorry. I don't know my own strength." Zach laughed uncomfortably. "Yours, I mean. I'm sorry for goofing off. I really don't want to leave you stuck in that thing."

"You have balls of steel, Zach," said Eugene, in a strained voice. "You're the bravest...ahhh, there. Right there."

Zach massaged carefully deeper. He wondered how to say exactly what he wanted to say, then decided to just go for it. "I hope you know, I think you're fucking gorgeous and perfect at everything. I get so jealous of you sometimes. I really don't think there's anything wrong with your face or body or anything about you. You get on my nerves sometimes, and I hate it when you go all cold and distant and shut everybody out, but I really admire you a lot and you're the best looking guy I've ever met. There is _nothing_ wrong with your face," he emphasized, because he could tell by now that Eugene really thought there was. "I really mean that."

Eugene didn't say anything, and Zach wondered if he'd even been listening. His head was low, and he nodded vaguely. Zach realized that Eugene was struggling to hold back emotion. Maybe it wasn't something he heard very often, in such honesty, and without someone wanting to get into his pants. It would be hard to trust compliments, if they were only from people who wanted you sexually. It was hard for him to accept compliments, period.

Zach decided to change the subject. "Have you remembered anything more about last night? I sure haven't."

"Um. Yeah." Eugene cleared his throat. He sounded a little hoarse. He was still hunched like he was in pain, but he leaned into Zach's massaging fingers, so it must still feel good. Good; massages usually helped with the pain.

"Really? What did you remember?"

"We were talking with Ned about something last night at the bar. An idea for a video. You were all excited about it and made a note on your phone."

"Really? I did?"

At the name 'Ned,' an uncomfortable feeling flashed through Eugene's body memory. The face and personality of Ned, overlaid on someone else, an older, far worse memory, someone he'd known when he was young. 

The intensity of that feeling almost drove the breath out of Zach. Somebody who'd been a popular jock, a white boy with a pretty face and freckles, who'd been really awful to Eugene. Who'd hurt him, not just with words, which had been bad enough, but in other, awful ways—till his mom decided he should start taking martial arts so he wouldn't come home bleeding or crying every day.

Poor Eugene. He'd felt so alone, so scared. The fact that he could overcome those memories and similarities to get along with Ned and like him for who he was, that was a big deal. It meant Eugene was really tough, and strong enough to be kind, to not let that memory keep him from giving Ned a chance. The flash of recognition was there in odd moments, and especially anything competitive, but he recognized Ned wasn’t his old bully. He could like and appreciate someone very different from himself, and not live in the past, even though some of those wounds were still raw.

"That feels so nice," said Eugene in a sleepy voice. "I didn't know massages could ever feel this nice."

"You're so good at giving them, though," said Zach. Didn't he get massages in return for the ones he gave? Didn't anybody ever try to take care of Eugene?

Eugene grunted softly. "Check your phone. See what note your wrote. Maybe it'll tell us."

Zach stopped rubbing reluctantly and fished out his phone. 

It was the last note to himself he'd written, right there if only he'd thought to look. _Video idea: day in the life of. Try Guys switch lives?_

"Oh," said Zach, feeling odd. "I remember now." And he did. "We were talking about how Buzzfeed does a lot of videos about switching one part of your life with someone else, and we thought, wouldn't it be great to switch the entire life? And we were joking about you and me switching lives, because we're so different. You have such a high alcohol tolerance and I'm such a lightweight—you love dogs, and I don't—stuff like that. It seemed like such a good idea at the time."

Eugene put his face in his hands and laughed brokenly. "Well, we've certainly learned a lot about each other. Not sure I'd want to film any of this, though. I feel really fucking vulnerable when everything I feel shows on my face. But people like me now. People talk to me." 

He sounded so wistful, it kind of broke Zach's heart.

"I'll talk to you. We'll be better friends after this, you'll see." He put down his phone and went back to massaging. Making Eugene feel better mattered most of all right now. "Your dogs are actually pretty neat, and I like drinking when it makes me feel the way it makes you feel. But I don't think I'm sorry I'm me. I'm used to being myself by now, you know? I don't know that I'd want to change that."

He'd worked so hard for everything he had in his life, and even though there were a lot of challenges, they were the ones he knew. It would be hard and awful to start over, to have to deal with Eugene's shit instead of his own—or worse, both sets of baggage at once. He leaned down and hugged Eugene impulsively. "You're a great guy, but I don't want your life. I want my own."

"Thanks, Zach," said Eugene's voice, rumblingly close. He was hugging Zach, intimately close, and Zach felt dizzy and disoriented, even though he was sitting down.

"Holy shit!" he said in his own voice, which went higher than Eugene's and cracked a little in surprise. "We're back, baby! Ha! My back really hurts! And my arms are hairy little twigs again!"

"Don't say that about yourself," mumbled Eugene, sounding completely embarrassed. He hadn't let go of Zach yet, was still hugging him, from the position where Zach had been hugging Eugene a moment ago. 

What a weird time to switch. It was kind of awesome, though, because Eugene never hugged anybody and now he was hugging Zach. 

_I get my hugs one way or another. Ha!_

"This is great," said Zach. "Now we don't have to figure out where to sleep tonight."

Eugene's arms tightened around him briefly, and then he took a deep breath and let go. He sat down next to Zach and gave him a wobbly smile. "Thanks for what you said."

"Sure, man. You too." He really wanted to hug Eugene again, but Eugene looked like he was at the end of his rope for handling anything else emotional today, so Zach restrained himself. He took another bite of the vegan pizza Eugene had been eating. "This really doesn't taste like crap, doesn't it?"

"I've never been so grateful not to have food allergies." Eugene got up and got a beer from the fridge, drank a long gulp of it. 

An awkward silence had fallen.

"Are you gonna drive me home, or should I get a ride?" asked Zach. He didn't want to be here when Eugene started swinging from the chandeliers. 

Eugene looked at him quickly, surprise flickering across his tough, handsome features. He looked down at the table and ran his fingers across the grain. "I guess you'd better get a ride. I been drinking." His voice had gotten that soft Texan sound to it. Really fucking cute—but also possibly embarrassed.

"Yeah, that was my fault, wasn't it? No problem." Zach reached for his phone, fumbled with it, and they switched phones once again. He felt awkward about leaving, but this was what they'd wanted, wasn't it?

He watched Eugene a moment, then spoke impulsively. "Gene," he said. "I guess I understand you a lot better now. Like, maybe more than you'd like. But it makes me like you a lot better, too. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for getting so jealous of you—and—I love you, man."

Eugene's face went very still, and then he smiled, a soft, shy little smile that made him look about ten times hotter, as well as really cute. It was really unfair how cute _and_ hot Eugene was! 

"Thanks," said Eugene. "I don't know how you can just say it like that."

Zach was as tactful as possible. "I think it's just how a person's raised. But I mean it. I'm going to be a better friend to you from now on. I'm not going to get jealous, and—shit, Eugene. I'm just going to do better."

"Thanks," Eugene said in a small, tight voice. Eugene really didn't like getting emotional.

Zach gave Eugene his brightest smile. "So I'll see you tomorrow, and we'll go to Quinta's birthday party together?"

Eugene nodded, but he didn't say anything. His eyes seemed full of emotion, but since he was back in his own body, it was a lot harder to read what that emotion was. 

"I'll make sure I tell you when I think you're looking good," said Eugene, reaching out to touch his arm lightly, with two fingers, then drawing back again. He was looking particularly shy again. "I'll teach you to dance too, if you still want to."

"Thanks, man. You're the best." Zach grinned at his buddy, Eugene. In the end, he wasn't really sorry this had happened, since he felt like they were better friends now. He was definitely going to openly and honestly compliment Eugene instead of being jealous about his good looks and talents. "It was worth all of it to have a better friend."

Eugene glanced at him, then looked down. "Yeah."

He seemed really self-conscious and weird now, so he probably wanted to be left alone to process all of it. Zach hoped he wouldn't drink too much. That part of knowing Eugene better made him sad. But you couldn't fix other people, only accept them as they were and try to be there for them and let them know you cared. 

They ate a little more, and Eugene played with his dogs a little, Zach reaching out to pet them once in a while, too. It was a companionable silence, but a little awkward too while he waited for his ride to come.

He wasn't sure quite what else to say. Eugene seemed very vulnerable there, and knowing more about him now, Zach thought that he probably felt even more vulnerable than he looked.

Eugene walked him to the door.

"We'll hang out soon," Zach promised, and then couldn't resist, but moved in for another quick hug. "Thanks for looking after me."

Eugene patted his back awkwardly. He seemed to be holding his breath. He was a lot more careful with Zach now that he knew he dealt with pretty much constant pain. 

"I'll give you massages if you want," said Eugene. 

"I love massages," said Zach, and wished he could offer the same in return, so that for once it wasn't just Eugene taking care of people without getting anything back. He looked at his friend, really looked at him, trying to figure out what to say or if he should say anything else.

Eugene pushed his hair back self-consciously. "Guess I can fix my hair properly now."

They both laughed, a relief of tension, as if that was funnier than it actually was. Then Zach turned to go.

Eugene caught him by the arm, slowing him down, but his grip was gentle and warm. "Hey. Love you."

Zach turned back to him, his smile megawatt, and said, "Thanks, man! See, it wasn't that hard, was it?" He gave Eugene an encouraging thump on the arm. 

It felt really great, what close friends they'd become. He was definitely going to be a better buddy.

"See you tomorrow." He headed out to the car, turning once to wave, and made sure he had his phone in his pocket so he didn't drop and break it.

Eugene stood in the doorway. His face was hard to see in the half light, and he had a stillness about him, face and body, that, for a moment Zach thought looked quietly and completely devastated.

Nah. He was just done in. All that emotion could wear a guy like Eugene out. Zach waved again, and headed off into the night.

His body was familiar, home. Even if it had all the aches and pains of a long day, he was still feeling pretty good. It was going to be great to get home, take a shower, and settle in for a quiet evening.

He would text Eugene later, and make sure he really was okay. But overall, Zach felt great, appreciating his life more than ever. Hell, Eugene even thought he was brave—and cute. That was a pretty big deal. 

It was great he and Eugene become such good friends. He was going to do so much better from now on, and not accidentally hurt Eugene anymore.

And maybe, he'd even learn to dance! 


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey! Get away from that!” 

Zach looked up in surprise to see Eugene barreling towards him, hair flying. His face was intent and worried. He pointed at Zach. “You! Stop that!”

“Um…? We were just moving this shit?”

It was all part of something for a video. Zach had started helping without even knowing what video or what was in the boxes. It felt natural to pitch in around the Buzzfeed office when he could; he hadn’t thought anything of it. But the boxes were heavy, Eugene was right about that.

“Yeah, and you’re not lifting anything heavy with your back.” Eugene arrived, breathless and still somehow as gorgeous as ever. He lifted Zach up bodily and moved him away.

“Aw, a hug,” said Zach, taking the opportunity to shamelessly snuggle into Eugene’s arms and hug him back. 

“You can’t lift that stuff with your back,” said Eugene, quiet and worried. It was weird to see him being so intensely protective, but they had both gotten a lot more protective of each other since their switch. Zach kind of liked it. The other day he’d almost yelled at the guy who’d been nasty about eating brownies, when he’d started saying snarky things about Eugene. 

These days, when he got himself snacks, he’d usually get Eugene something as well and leave it at his desk. Eugene wouldn’t always eat them, but more often than not, they disappeared.

“Eugene,” called one of their coworkers who Eugene hadn’t stopped from lifting heavy boxes. “Stop kidnapping people who are actually willing to help with the dirty work!”

“Yeah, Eugene!” called someone else mockingly. “Get back here with your crush!”

“I’m not his crush, I’m his friend!” called Zach over Eugene’s shoulder, ready to defend Eugene again. 

“Just shut up, Zach,” said Eugene. “Don’t respond to it.”

“You two _are_ awful close now,” observed Keith, who was walking by as Eugene put Zach down and straightened his shirt for him. “What happened, you guys fuck and I missed it?” He took a big bite of donut and looked at the two of them with amusement in his eyes.

“No,” said Eugene. “Don’t fuck up your back,” he told Zach sternly. He fixed Zach’s hair a little, then turned and stalked off like an indignant cat.

“I think we understand each other better,” said Zach. “So we’re better friends.”

“What brought this on?” Keith arched one of his impressive eyebrows.

“Just getting to know each other.” Zach shrugged. He hated not telling Keith, but Eugene had asked him to keep it between them.

_“I don’t want to be mocked about it,” Eugene had said. “I don’t think anyone would believe us.”_

So Zach kept his answer vague. 

Zach saw Eugene going over to talk to a few other people, and within minutes, the box crew had extra volunteers. He really was a thoughtful guy sometimes. He hadn’t just taken Zach away from the work, he’d replaced him with, presumably, healthier individuals.

“Well, I’m glad you guys get along better, I guess,” said Keith. “But since when are you ever honest about your back pain?”

“I’m honest,” said Zach in an offended tone. It was true he tended to keep his pain to himself and minimize it whenever possible. He brought it up when he couldn’t avoid doing so, and that was it.

“So did you fuck him or did he fuck you?” Keith was teasing now, and it was kind of funny, but Zach wished he could tell Keith the truth, wished he hadn’t promised to keep it quiet. He wanted to talk about how it had felt to be someone else. And it really would have made a good video if they could have somehow figured out a way to film any of it, and make it not quite as invasive as the actual experience had been.

Since he’d been back in his own body, he’d lost the ability to tolerate drinking, dance well, and talk to girls. But it was surprisingly great to be _home_. His life was how he’d arranged it, with no pesky memories that weren’t his causing him distress. He knew a lot more about Eugene now, and he felt more protective of him because of it.

Keith raised and lowered a hand, squinting, pretending to weigh the possibilities. “Hm, which would be harder on your back? Hard enough you’d actually have to admit to anything.”

Zach grinned at the word ‘hard.’ He was a sucker for dirty jokes. “Oh yeah, who wouldn’t want all of this?” He gestured to himself, sticking his chin out a little and putting an arrogant expression on his face that was hilariously off-putting. He bobbed his head a few times and pointed his thumbs at his chest. “Everybody wants some of this Korn.”

“You could say he really buttered your cob,” suggested Keith, waggling his brows.

“Or my corn hole,” said Zach. They were just riffing now, both of them well aware they were joking, so he was more than a little surprised when Eugene, walking past, gave him a hurt, questioning look.

It felt like a private look, like Eugene was asking him why he’d betray him with these sorts of jokes. 

Zach didn’t know what to make of that, but it made the whole thing less funny. Did he think Zach was actually claiming they’d had sex with each other? He’d never do that, and Keith wouldn’t believe him if he did. It was all joking.

He made sure to ask Eugene about it the first moment he got to speak with him alone, though. “What was that look, earlier?”

“What look?” grumbled Eugene, trying to ignore him. “Don’t read things into every look. God, Zach.”

He tugged lightly on Eugene’s sleeve, straightening it out. “No, you definitely gave me a look. I was kidding around with Keith and you gave me a look.”

Eugene’s mouth got tighter, and for a second Zach thought he was just going to freeze Zach out. Which, yes, that hurt, but it wasn’t exactly unexpected.

“I thought you were laughing at me,” mumbled Eugene.

“What? No. Just...you know...Keith’s humor. We like dirty jokes. I’m not actually saying anything rude about you. Hell, I still don’t understand you more often than not, despite living your life for a little while.” 

“Really?” Eugene turned to smile at him, his face open with something like happiness and relief. “I thought you knew all my secrets now.”

Zach put a hand on his arm. “Nobody knows all your secrets, Gene! I bet even you don’t. Anyway, it was less than twenty-four hours. Barely enough to learn to like your dogs.”

“You like my dogs?” Eugene looked impossibly flattered.

“Yeah, man, they’re good pups. Pupperoonies. I’m not usually a big fan of dogs, but yours are cool.”

Eugene bit his lip, reached over, and gave Zach a light fist bump on the shoulder. “Thanks.”

Who knew complimenting his pups could make him so happy?

Zach got up. For a second here, he was taller than Eugene, looking down at him. He’d had a glimpse of tallness, but it wasn’t him. This was, the short guy who talked a lot, who had feelings and wasn’t afraid to talk about them. “Anyway don’t get pissed off at me for no reason, because I wasn’t talking shit about you. And I don’t intend to.”

Eugene looked up at Zach and put a hand on his side lightly, his expression somehow earnest and impossibly gentle, almost wistful. “Yeah--I--I get that about you. You’re a real loyal guy.”

“Thanks, man.” Zach sounded awkward. He didn’t think of himself as particularly loyal, but he liked the idea. Most of his favorite movies had a lot of loyalty themes in them, and he liked the idea that he could be a bit like some of the heroes in them, even if he wasn’t in most ways. He wasn’t an action movie star who got to do stunts and say cool one-liners, although wouldn’t that be cool?

He’d thought they were alone, but now Keith called out from not too far away, “Just kiss him already!”

Zach cackled. “I’ll kiss you in a minute!” he called to Keith. Keith gave him a big goofy grin and a big thumbs-up, then puckered his lips up. “I’m here any time, baby!”

Zach laughed again and turned back to Eugene, but Eugene had buried himself back into his computer work. 

Zach sighed and gave him a pat on his shoulder. Keith had shut down their moment with his jokes. Now Eugene was going to be distant the rest of the day. But Zach knew now that it didn’t mean he was stuck up. It might mean any number of things, that he was shy or busy or grumpy, or it might mean nothing at all. And that was okay.

“We’re still going dancing this weekend, right?” Zach asked, just wanting it confirmed. “And you’re going to teach me some cool moves.”

“Yeah, of course,” said Eugene vaguely, clicking his mouse, not looking at Zach.

“Okay. See you then, Jamie Lee.”

That made Eugene swivel in his seat. “What? I would so not be--”

Zach was already laughing and running away. 

**_~the end~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D Please smash that ~~subscribe button and ring that bell!~~ (Or maybe comment.)


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